What is ugly? Is it not having designer clothes? Not having your boobs hanging out of your shirt? Or not being able to see your ribs? Not being able to feel your bones in your thighs? Having acne? Having braces or glasses? Really? That’s ugly? Or maybe another word for ‘ugly’ is society. So fuck society, because you are beautiful for who you are. Fuck society and its standards.

Honestly, society and it's standards are screwed.

Who you are is beautiful, not how you look like.

A VERY SPECIAL DAY

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HONG WEI AND HONG XI!!!

Omg my baby bros are all grown up alr!!! -tears-

They are like the only people in the world who can make me laugh and cry at the same time.

And without them my life will never be complete I swear.

Even though they make me so mad most of the time, I never ever regret having them as brothers.

They do so many things for me and their childlike love is so innocent and cute.

I love how they hold my hands when crossing roads or hugging me on random days.

I like how on some mornings they come to my room and kiss me good morning.

Seriously these two kiddos are so much fun to be around.

I love them so much omg can't believe they're all grown up already!

We do so many crazy things and have so much fun together.

Bunking at each others' rooms, walking the hamsters, and everything we do under the sun is just so lovely.

Don't know how much of a lonely girl I'll be without the two<3

HOPE YOU GUYS HAD A GREAT TIME LOVE YOU GUYS LOADS AND LOADS.

My life is seriously so fast-paced it's surreal.

Guys, it's the 209th day of the year.

Which leaves us 156 more days to achieve all our 2011 resolutions.

I'm looking through all the pictures I've taken throughout the course of the whole year and is so overwhelmed.

So much has happened and so much has changed.

I've learnt so much and grew so much, I've experienced and gained so much, too.

Every picture holds a different memory, and every memory is a reminder to us that nothing lasts forever.

Cherish the rest of the year, yumin, don't leave it to december 31st to start regretting.

Carpe Diem.

Shall try to live by this quote as much as I can.

Beautiful.

We were talking about everything we have and how grateful we should be during CME today.

It struck a deep chord in my because honestly, I don't think we, or rather I, have given enough credit to everything around me.

Look around you, just take a second to look around.

Look at the abundance of things you have, the amount of love you receive, and that roof above your head.

I rant so much when I don't get something I want, forgetting the many things I already have.

I take so many things for granted, like seriously.

Sometimes we are so coped up in the more "important" things that we forget the "little" things.

Eg the fact that my daddy wakes up early in the morning to fetch me to school.

Or how my grandma used to pick me from yck after school.

She could have jolly-well said no and save herself the trouble, but no, she troubles herself for me.

And as we get older, we fail to express our gratitude and love.

But sometimes that's all our parents want to hear.

Sometimes they don't just want you to "study hard" or "do well", sometimes they just want some attention from you.

And I love my mummy and daddy so much:)

And my ahma and ahgong too.

Anyway just stop complaining and cherish the beautiful life you have, at least you have a new day to look forward to.

Had a great friday night out with Denise:)

Went to chomp chomp for dinner.

I wasn't really that hungry so I ate quite little.

She had hokkien mee, wanton mee, chicken wings and chin chow.

I had hokkien mee, fried oyster and chin chow.

Then mummy brought me out to Hans for supper.

I received flowers from Sham Pui San(fake name) and only found out yesterday who it really was.

No point wasting money on me, really.

Saturday

Anw then I had tuition in the morning and sushi for lunch.

Headed to Thomson Plaza and met Shannon.

Then I went to the photo place and gave them my film to develope and the atm to withdraw money.

So broke now...

We went to KFC and ate popcorn chicken and cheese fries and started studying.

Omg I love Shannon so much!!! I miss her to bits.

K then did a bit of history revision and went home to put down my things and rushed off to orchard to meet Shannon Bouncysmack.

Haha she's damn fucking pretty I swear.

Did our gay hug and went to the flea:)

Bought tons of accessories.

After we were done we headed to f21.

Hate that the have a maximun of 4 pieces allowed in the changing room at a time!:(

Wanted to go to Zara but we had no time so we went to grab a quick dinner.

P/s: Really don't know how I'll pull through without my babes.

It's 11.35 and my eyes are red.

I am so dead tired, physically and mentally.

Life is like a never ending race and I really want to give this race up so badly.

But I know I can't.

I don't know what I want anymore.

I find it so tiring to even smile.

It's like the tears fall and they fall for nothing.

Strings and strings of them, each representing every wasted second, minute, every hour.

Don't want to fight for anything anymore.

Don't want to try anymore.

Don't want to fail anymore.

The worse kind of feeling is to feel sad and not even know why.

I don't even want to think anymore.

Too tired, too tired.

Omg my week has been super great so far!

Thursdays are super slack I swear.

Assembly, physics (in the lab so it's fun), hcl 1 period, recess, history then home ecs all the way til 1:45.

Hellyeah.

OMG TODAY I WENT TO SCHOOL TO FETCH MY BRO BECAUSE NO ONE WAS FREE.

Haha so I had lunch with yuri rach jamie and jac then we went to watch the dance enrichment thing then went to tube to j8.

And omg.

I tell you i'm like the nicest sister on earth ok.

Like I went to walk under the hot hot sun from j8 to cat high.

Then because he doesn't have his ez link card, I went to save my coins for him.

Seriously man where to find such a good sister!!!

Ok enough of the egoing.

Yeah then cause he never take bus before I thought it would be fun fun fun to take together.

So I walked to his school and I saw wee on the way!

I was like on the phone then I was like "Omg is that benedict"

then he came closer and I waved and then I told him that I was going to fetch my brother so he walked back to cat high with me!

So nice omg.

Yeah then he was like "Wah shit if a teacher sees me with you I'm dead man"

Haha it was such a hot day...

Then I waited for me bro and we walked back to the bus stop.

Took to tp then went home home home.

Omg I held his hand all the way home so cuteeeee.

He's so cuteeee love him loads.

Btw my other bro went home earlier cause he didn't have cca.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT. I LIKE MY NEW CHINESE TUTOR.

CHINESE TUITION IS FUN FUN FUN NOW.

K that's all I had so much fun today.

In school and after school :)

Today was great omg!

Funny funny.

1. Jade: Celeste you wanna hear something disturbing?
Celeste: Yeah ok.
Jade: Aiya nevermind lah it's quite disturbing.

Celeste: Nvm say!

Jade: My nipples hurt.

Celeste gives typical celeste face.

During recess, jie ying called celeste.

Jie Ying: Eh where are you? We found a table.

Celeste: Western food.

Jie Ying: Where? I don'- Ohhhh I see yu min and her orange bra.

Then later Maegan said my bra was cool and Joanna called me an airport runway.

K anyway cause I don't put my phone or wallet in my pocket cause it's so zhor deng so I normally hold it.

So during lunch it was on the table and yuri took it and ran away and started smsing Ryan Tan.

My bb sucks lah cannot print screen so I told tan to send me.

So below is our conv.

White is yuri and celeste and rachel and jamie and green is tan.

K training was quite funny too.

I told celeste owling is the new planking cause we were sitting under the tree and she burst out laughing and did her typical face and was owling.

Omg epic shit.

K bai have a nice day.

hihihihi omg i'm suffering from post-training syndrome hahaha. I can't believe that today was actually great. Like monday and great don't usually go together but seriously today was epic shit.

Firstly, class was sooooo fun me and alison talked and laughed and talked and laughed and got scolded by Mr Leow who is seriously a pushover but omg he scolded us cause we talked too much but it was so fun and funny ahh i love alison so much. I brought food (eg chocolates x infinity) and we started eating and I choked on my chocolate like what the shit manzxc. We had physics then Pe then recess then chinese then acc like slack shit or whutzzz. Pe was so fun too I started rolling on Shannon and Mr Yeo was like "Oi". Then we burst out laughing hahaha. I quite kool lah I can do kettle stand. Me and shannybaby gonna go flea fly flo fun on saturday muahahaz. Sara came to school during recess cause she had dental in the morning and I was the first to see her in braces like coolio or coolio. She talks funny now but she's still so cute:) Raight then we went up for chinese like 5 mins late and on the stairs we saw MLS and we rushed and ran infront of her.

Ended school at 110 and training starts at 345. We went KFC to eat cause most of us were broke. Omg I think i'm in love howwwwww. K anyway we started goofing around in KFC it was such a disgrace omg. Then we went to the music room and chilled cause there was air con but omg we got chased out. Had no choice but to go to where we belong- the netball court. We were talking and somehow started drawing on the floor with twigs. Then suddenly the VP came and was like "Girls what all that drawing on the floor?" -stone-

Training was so fun fun fun!!! The 15 + 10 + 10 run/sprint didn't feel as tiring today and we laughed so much during the game. Couldn't stop laughing. Game meaning netball match. Denise fell and her face was damn priceless I swear. Omg everything was just so funny I love the Bdiv so much!!!

Aish my date canceled on me tmr so we're meeting next week instead.

Oh btw I've a pimply thing on my head and it's the 2nd time I'm ever getting a pimple.

The first time was because I laughed at Celeste's pimple, and the 2nd time was also because I laughed at Celeste's pimple. And both times she said "Laugh at me lah, see whether you will get pimple as retribution." Whoops better watch what I say next time.

The sunset/nightsky was so pretty and there are like a gazillion stars out there right now.

I love my life so much sometimes.

I miss you so much.

My heart is aching and my stomach's churning.

Is that how you feel when you're in love?
I really just wanna tell you,

but I've no guts to.

Please make this feeling go away.

Week 4 will be great.

I know it.

Unfathomable.

I feel so complied to blog today and idk why.

Anyway, this shall be the greatest post of history of great posts on my blog because it is compiled of the best people in the world.

(excluding my family)

YIJING AND JASMINE.

Thinking of you guys make me cry! It's like all my fondest memories of pri school consists of you guys. I miss you babes so much the last time we went out together was Bucksie Tussie omg.

We have definitely been through a lot and to still share a bond this strong even after not meeting each other for so long sure is something.

I know I can count on your guys, always.

Vess!

Hi Vess. I love you so much. You're so hilarious and funny and everytime I see you I just wanna hug you. We have so much fun together like doing illegal stuff and doing work together and doing everything.

Omg love you.

SHANNON MY LOVE.

This bitch is the best bitch on earth.

Despite all our differences, we come together as one soul.

She's the only girl I feel so comfortable with and her house is just like my second home and she's like the sister I never had.

Shannon babe, I miss you so much.

I like receiving texts from you somedays telling me how much you miss me when exactly at that same point of time, I am thinking of you.

We have so much memories together and I don't know how life would every be without you.

I could spend every single day with you and not feel bored.

November/December 2010 was probably the best months yet because we bonded so much and I grew so close to you.

I feel literally empty whenever we're not together.

It's like you've become such a huge part of me I can't even bear to part with you.

We've done so much together and shared so much fun and laughter.

You are epic shit Shannon WLW.

Love you loads and we must seriously go out soon.

Gah I'm tearing just typing this seriously babe I miss you!!!

SNNB.

Probably the hugest part of my whole St Nicks life.

I eat sleep breathe netball and it's all because of them.

Can never feel more at home with any other group but them.

It's like everyone can just be themselves and laugh and cry and hug and play together.

I love you guys so much and I don't ever want to end this journey with all of you.

My chinkadoodles.

Because 2010 was such a good year, I didn't think anything could top it.

But then these bitches came along and turned everything upside down.

I mean seriously guys, y'all are so fun to be with.

I could laugh my muscles silly with your guiz.

Even the darkest of all days a hug from your guys just brightens up everything.

I love our random acts of love and hug fests and everything.

We share something so magical words can't describe it.

JANDY!!!

Omg omg omg it's been the longest time since we've really actually talked and went out and I miss you to bits omg.

I remember how we would go out most tuesdays or thursdays last year and mug together and be so close to each other.

Tako balls and everything else.

We bond in silence and I don't ever know where I can find such a long-lasting yet fresh friendship.

You rock my sockz gal.

You know that bond so inseparable you can't even define your friendship?

That's exactly how I feel about these people.

And I swear they make life worth living for.

Of course there are others who come along once in a while to spur you on and other close friends of mind but seriously, these are the ones who are constantly there.

Who needs boyfriends? I know I don't.

It's saturday night and I'm sitting by my window, listening the Somewhere Only We Know and thinking about everything under the sun(or moon).

Sometimes I wonder why I press myself so hard for thoughts.

Oh, complex mind.

Pps, I miss you.

May the weekends be fruitful. Please.

I'm so confused right now.

My heart's a mess my mind's a mess i'm a mess.

Who. And why.

Ugh seriously my heart's like going against me omg.

Kthxbai.

School was great today:)

Loving Alison as my desk partner haha fun fun fun:)

CME and Chinese was fun!
Yes chinese.

Haha.

OMG TRAINING TMR I DON'T WANT TO RUN FOR 1 HOUR KILL ME ALREADY.

An amazing hue of orange coloured the sky as the cloud shrouded out the majestic sun, everything was so tranquil and everything was so lovely, all that is beautiful is fleeting.

Had such a great day today.

Watching the finals was so awe-inspiring.

The whole stadium ricocheted in cheers whenever either team scored.

It was super fun omg haha.

School starts tomorrow, week 3 c'mon.

Friday was great!:)

In fact the whole week wasn't too bad except for some blunders in between.

Haha anyhoo, we had no morning jog cause they were collecting pledge cards. Haha ok school was boring mostly i read under my table while alison copied chinese and took up like half my table. I think the school needs to get her a special huge table.

Right.

Then we were supposed to go to wnc and we forgot food! So we decided to go to NTUC to buy after school. So during recess the first question everyone asked was... "Is _____ coming???" And because everyone didn't want her to tag along, we came up with Mission Netball Impossible.

-samurai-

Haha so we went to the music room to put our bags and ran out from the side gate.

If you think we're being absolute childish bitches, you will be utterly disgusted by whatever ______ has done.

So so we took a bus to the tpy hub/sth idk what it's called and went to grab nommies. Then we went to macs for lunch and rushed back. And otw we were running like some marathon. Cause we were scared Mr Yeo would scold.

Yeah blablabla then we went to singapore indoor stadium and watches the game. Tbh most of the time we wasn't watching cause it was so far away!!! _____ was being so annoying sticking to us and even Jamie, sweet old jamie, got very pissed.

And babe, it's not just because you didn't come for one week, it's not because of that one week that you've drifted away from us, it started long ago, but you were too self obsessed to even notice. It's also not because your mom doesn't let you go out too often with us, it's just the way you act that totally turns us off.

Seriously.

K whatevs, anyway, I TEXTED HIM I TEXTED HIM I TEXTED HIM OMG HAHAHA BEST(4TH) DAY OF MY LIFE HAHAHAHA.

Ok right then we went around taking pictures and getting autographs and eating all the rubbish we bought. Haha then when the game ended and we went out, the sky was in such a perfect orange hue and the whole place was just so serene.

So we started camwhoring!!!

Jumpshots

Love my team so much.

My week so far has been really good, loving every day of it!

We had team bonding yesterday and it was another session of :'(

Nonetheless I wanna say that I love my team so much and my juniors and the seniors.

Every one of them are the reason why I still am in netball.

The bond will last forever, I am sure;)

I made cookies during home ecs!
It's was damn good ahaha self praise is still praise;)

Tupperware filled with wheaty goodness.

OMG SERIOUSLY MAN I CAME BACK WITH 10 AND I HAD TO RATION EVERY SINGLE BIT OF IT CAUSE IT WAS VERY NICE!

We traded cookies and everyone's one taste so yumz!

Aight that's all.

FRIDAY FRIDAY TGI FRIDAY!!!

185

Everything is in a whirlpool of confusion. I don't know how I'm feeling, I don't know how I should be feeling, I don't even know what I am looking forward to in life. There is no drive, there is no passion, there is no urgency.

I am so confused right now and this post may not make much sense because I can't seem to properly gather my thoughts.

Today is the 185th day of 2011.

A wave of melancholy hits me whenever july comes to mind. 6 months have passed, I have surmounted 24 weeks and 185 days have flowned by. What exactly have I been doing? Everyday I wake up and just live, floating along, seeing where my life takes me. I don't have any specific destination and life has been more like a cycle than an adventure for me. Some days my life is more interesting but most days it's just so mundane and mediocre.

And life gets so hard sometimes I just break down and cry. But when people ask why I can't answer them because most of the time me myself don't even know why. And those days I came home feeling so empty and not knowing what to look forward to tomorrow. I know I shouldn't let today affect my tomorrow or vice versa, but it's just so hard. Today has too many blunders to be buried and tomorrow has too many unknowns to be understood.

Every morning I just want to lie in my bed and continue sleeping. Sleep and sleep and sleep to escape the cold hard truth that today will be just like any other day. Dreams keep reality from paralyzing you, right?

Well, I think I'm pretty hopeless in life. I'm not smart, I can't do a lot of things and I screw up way too much, way too often. I'm never good enough and I always disappoint. I can't think of any areas that I can ever succeed in and I am so envious of those who do things with such ease.

Oh well.

Happy 4th of July.

Friday was epic shit.

Ended school at 1.45 and went for lunch with denise april and yuri at hot tomato.

Sirloin steak and bbq chicken ftw!

I loved their pasta omg.

Then we walked around and ate glacious and bought toblerone and went to the pet shop.

Then at like 4 plus we decided to go home.

So i went back to school with denise to watch cheer.

Yeah, then at like 6 plus we went to her house to get her clothes.

Haha SOME people are just such fat asses with a too huge ego.

We kinda pranked that someone.

ANYHOO!

Then we had kfc for dinner haha fat pigs.

Took like a 45min bus journey home and was so dead tired.

Then we went night skating around my estate aha!
Denise like laid on the skateboard and rolled down the hill it was so funny i swear!

Haha then we went back and waited for april to come.

Then we played wii and talked and slap at 2:)

AND IN AT LIKE FRIGGIN 4.45 DENISE WAS LIKE "YUMIN WAKE UP! ORDER MACS!!!"

Crazy woman.

HAHA BUT IT WAS SO FUN<3

Went to yck stadium at 7 today. Mummy fetched us^^

My wasted saturday morning...

Yeah then we had quite a fun time aha:)

Went to j8 to eat yami yogurt with yuri denise april shirlene and we walked to cat high for their carnival.

COTTON CANDY OMG.

Then we got bored and denise and april came to my house to sleep!
We were so tired...

Haha yeah that's it folks.