Today essentially boils down to being an emotional roller coaster ride.
Got back chem today and I failed. But I wasn't even sad lah. Cause it wasn't as bad as I expected. Then after recess we got back hist and yeah. I mean I know I didn't exactly put in my best effort but at least the effort IS there. Ok all I know was that I was very disappointed in myself during history but I forgot how I felt already hahaha. Then I was damn high during home ecs. We went to the com lab and we were supposed to read a book but guess what we did? We played cards!!! It was funny haha. We all hid at the back behind the last row of computers and the 9 of us started playing cheat. Then everytime someone spoke too loud everyone will be like "Shhhhh!" and when Ms Mala stood up we'll all simultaneously put the cards into our pinafore or under our pinafore and pretend to read our books. We played Old Maid and Donkey. It was so funny but I was trying so hard not to laugh cause I was having muscle aches ALL over and it was so painful hahaha.
Guess who was Old Maid...?
Haha then waited for April after school and headed to town, together with Shannon! Went to f21 and h&m and new look then Shannon had to go for tuition. So me and April sent her to the mrt station. We went to Marche for late lunch and was so bloated after that! So we walked to Knightsbridge and went to Topshop. Haha right, then we went to Wisma. Went to Typo and went crazy. Omg seriously the things were all so cute so just take take take. Then bought Yuri's present and went to Zara. And then River Island. Then I think we went to Cache Cache and like Diva and Muji and went to f21 again hahaha crazy. Then by the time we were done we were aching all over and tired so we decided to go home. Loved my haul today! Haha I swear money in my bank is depleting so quickly! Like even before the holiday starts ugh. It was so fun lah hahaha me and April talked and laughed and aww.
Went home and everything was fine and dandy until I got a text from Denise. "Tmr could and will be my last trng w you guys." and then suddenly the happy demeanor just gets totally washed away by the tears. Like somehow the reality of things finally filtered through me and I finally understood the urgency of the whole situation. SNNB will never be the same, ever.
The 11 other people up there are my life. Every, single, one. We've grown so much as a team. From 12 individuals to 1 soul. We do the coolest and most amazing things together and we have so much fun. They're like family and it's so sad how that family isn't and won't be perfect ever again. We were not "barbie" perfect, but instead we were perfect because we had so many flaws and differences and yet we managed to still just click. To work together as one even though we were 12 very, very different people. The thought of Denise, Yuri and April not being able to continue the remaining two years with us just hurts. Grief was like compressing all my internal organs, a vice of loss, gripping tighter and tighter. It's going to be real hard training without them. It's so hard to describe but it's really not a good feeling knowing that what you once had isn't going to be there anymore. I love all of them so much ugh, and yknow what? I don't want them to leave, not at all...
